28 Truths I’d Tell the Girl I Used to Be (Now That I’m 28)

28 things I know now that I wish I’d learned sooner

I turned 28 today.

Lately, I’ve been thinking a lot about the girl I used to be, all the versions of her I’ve been, and the phases, heartbreaks, and quiet transformations that brought me here. I’ve caught myself wondering if little me would be proud of who I’ve become.

Reflecting on her leaves me feeling a mix of things — a little sad, sometimes even a bit embarrassed by the choices she made (because she didn’t know better yet). But also… grateful. Protective. Soft. And honestly, in awe of how much she carried and how quietly she kept going.

If I could sit across from her now and tell her that I’m the woman she grows into, I think she’d smile. I think she’d be proud, but also full of questions. She’d want guidance. She’d want reassurance. Not because she needed fixing, but because she deserved someone to walk with her through the mess, to remind her that she wasn’t as behind, as broken, or as lost as she felt.

So, in honor of her and all the versions of ourselves we’re still learning to love — here are 28 truths I’d tell the girl I used to be.

1. Never stop being confident about your strengths, your talents, and your capabilities. If people laugh, belittle, or appear indifferent about your displays of confidence, let them. You don’t need to dull your shine to make others comfortable.

2. While you should be considerate of other people’s needs, feelings, and situations, you should never allow anyone to make you feel uncomfortable. You shouldn’t sacrifice your needs and wants to please others.

3. People will take advantage of your kindness because they will mistake your kindness for weakness. Don’t be too kind or too nice.

4. People can only understand you as deeply as they have understood themselves. If they assume wrong things about you, it’s not your job to correct them. Let them go, instead.

5. Only give your time and energy to people who deserve it. To people who truly add value to your life.

6. Quality will trump quantity every single time. One genuine friend will enrich your life more than 100 fake friends.

7. Real friends don’t believe or spread rumors about you without hearing your side of the story first. If they do, they were never really your friend to begin with.

8. Do not, under any circumstance, tolerate disrespect. And if they continue to do so, your life will be more peaceful without them.

9. You don’t need to prove your worth to anyone. The right people will see the good in you and stick by your side.

10. Stop listening to what others believe is good for you and keep doing what you know is good for you.

11. How someone treats you is a reflection of their beliefs and values. If someone mistreats you, it’s not because you did something wrong, but because of their misguided sense of right and wrong.

12. Don’t be embarrassed about the mistakes you make, the lapses in your judgements, or for saying the wrong thing sometimes. Just make sure to learn from it.

13. There’s no shame in asking for help, especially in going for therapy. You’ll learn more about yourself in just four therapy sessions than you’ll do in a year.

14. Forgive people to protect your peace but never forget what they did. People know exactly what they’re doing.

15. Not everyone should know everything about you. The more they know about you, the more power they hold over you. Be very careful about who you let in to your life.

16. Manipulation is when they focus on how you reacted, instead of how they treated you.

17. Treat others how you wish to be treated, but don’t expect them to treat you the same. If they ill-treat you, they no longer deserve your attention, time and energy.

18. Learn to be comfortable with discomfort. It’s uncomfortable to set boundaries. It’s uncomfortable to stand up for yourself. But that’s when you know you’re growing.

19. Enjoy your childhood! What you think is “stressful” when you’re young can’t even compare to the stress, pressure, and never-ending problems you’ll face as an adult. Don’t take your childhood freedom for granted.

20. Stop trying to be like everyone else. You’re unique, just as you are, and there may be so many others who want to be more like you.

21. Stop comparing yourself to others. Your strengths, your capabilities, your path and what’s meant for you will find you at the right time. Just because someone is a science prodigy or an entrepreneur at an early age doesn’t negate your unique abilities.

22. Don’t ever stop reading. Find the time to read at least a page or two every day.

23. Stop living for the approval of others. If you’re not doing anything wrong to anyone, the only approval that should matter is yours.

24. Male validation is not worth it, and it doesn’t determine anything about how attractive you are. Wear that pretty dress for you. Put on some makeup for you. If it makes you happy, that’s all that matters.

25. If someone asks you for your advice or opinion, give it. But don’t expect them to take it. And don’t take it personally if they don’t. It’s their choice if they want to take it or not.

26. You can learn something from everyone. It may even be what not to do.

27. Some endings are gifts in disguise.

28. Loving yourself is not a one-time choice. It’s a practice. So, choose yourself, prioritize yourself by practicing it every day.

These truths weren’t always clear to me. Some of them I learned the hard way, some I’m still learning. But if my younger self had heard even one of them, maybe she would’ve walked through life with a little more ease, a little more trust in herself, and a little less fear of getting it all wrong.

And maybe you needed to hear one of them today, too. If so, I hope it finds you at the right moment — the way I’m slowly finding my way back to myself. Thanks for being here with me!

Until next time,

Senuri