I Stopped Forcing Routines and Finally Started Growing

Spoiler: The 5 a.m. Club wasn't for me

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As soon as I realized that I’d hit rock bottom and was wasting my life away in this endless loop of self-pity, something in me snapped and I had this immediate need to completely turn my life around for the better.

Image credit: Ivana Cajina. From Unsplash.com

Naturally, I did what most of us do: I went straight to blogs and doom-scrolled “how to glow up” videos on TikTok. You know the drill; wake up early in the morning, journal morning and night, work out for at least an hour every day, go on a diet and quit junk food cold turkey, eat clean, read 10 pages of a book… the full transformation starter pack.

And for the first few days, it felt like I was finally getting it together. But after a week, it felt like I was punishing myself for all the time I lost. Between work, my degree program, and the responsibilities that come with living alone, I realized that forcing myself to stick to a perfect routine just wasn’t sustainable.

That’s when it hit me: I’ve always done things in extremes. Before, it was spiraling into depression and not even trying to get better. Now, I was trying to force healing and growth in the same extreme manner — and that wasn’t working either.

I’d get frustrated and honestly, mad at myself, if I couldn’t check off all the boxes in my “perfect” routine. I’d burn myself out trying to get everything done on days packed with assignments and deadlines. Most days, I felt overwhelmed just looking at the to-do list, and I’d end up procrastinating… not because I was lazy, but because I didn’t want to disappoint myself by falling short.

I had to learn it the hard way: that progress doesn’t come from perfection, but from balance. Moderation, I realized, was key. So, I began to reshape my “glow up” routine. Not to abandon it, but to make space for real life. I allowed room for the unexpected, for the days that didn’t go as planned, and built a rhythm that could bend instead of break. Let me explain.

Instead of pushing myself to journal morning and evening daily, I started to journal only when I needed to. I understood that journaling helps me to make sense of my thoughts when something makes me anxious or angry. Journaling calms me down and helps me identify how to react to a situation in a rational way, not with emotion. This made more sense to me, because most days, I didn’t even know what to write. And that’s okay.

Image Credit: Natalia Blauth. From Unsplash.com

During exam season or days I felt drained, I stopped telling myself that I had to work out for an hour. I stopped pushing myself to wake up at 5 am and go to the gym every single day. Rather, I gave myself permission to go for a short walk, or to rest altogether, whatever felt right for my energy levels that day.

Without fighting every craving I had and allowed myself to eat whatever I liked once a week. I’d go on solo dates, order in and watch a movie at home, or go out with friends — guilt-free. Usually on a Friday or Saturday, as a reward for getting through the week.

Essentially, I prioritized what needs to be done during that day (i.e. assignments, other activities that needed my immediate attention) and fit everything else in a way that felt manageable.

That shift changed everything. It helped me see consistent progress, not because I was doing more, but because I was doing what made sense for me. I built a routine that felt kind.

And even on days when I didn’t do it all, I didn’t feel like I failed — I just reminded myself: this is what realistic progress looks like.

All in all, I truly believe that routines are good for you, as long as you’re not being too hard on yourself to stick to it 24/7 * 365 days. Life is, and will never be, rigid. Life comes to us with ebbs and flows. So, it’s okay to be a little flexible with yourself.

Routines are good for you — but only if you’re not being hard on yourself to stick to them 24/7, 365 days a year. Life is, and will never be, rigid. It comes in ebbs and flows. And it’s okay — more than okay — to be flexible with yourself.

If you made it this far, thank you for sticking around. I hope this helped you in some small way, at least. Until next time.

Signing off,

Senuri