What Progress Actually Looked Like for Me

Spoiler Alert: It's Not Aesthetic

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I used to think progress was linear — that I’d get better at managing anxiety, stop procrastinating, become more organized, and build healthier habits with each passing day. I imagined waking up and clearly knowing, yep, I’m better today than I was yesterday.

Image Credit: Getty Images. From Unsplash.com.

 But… yeah. That’s not how it went.

In the beginning, it felt like I was constantly back at square one. One day I’d be unstoppable — checking things off my list, hitting the gym, making home-cooked meals — and the next, it was like my body was made of cement and I couldn’t even get out of bed.

That cycle of highs and lows frustrated me. I kept putting in the work to heal and grow, but I only felt like I was progressing on some days. Other days? It felt like I was failing all over again.

It took a while, but I finally understood: healing isn’t linear. Growth isn’t always obvious. And unlearning old patterns? That takes time. Real progress, I learned, is subtle. Quiet. Sometimes, it doesn’t feel like progress at all — until it shows up in the small, everyday moments. The ways you think. Pause. Choose. React.

Here’s what I thought progress would look like… and what it actually did:

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What I thought: I’d never feel anxious again.

What really happened: I still get anxious in certain situations, but now I can recognize it. I pause, ground myself, breathe. And that’s enough to stop the spiral before it starts.

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What I thought: I’d be amazing at setting boundaries — confident and unbothered.

What really happened: I panic. I overthink. I worry about what they’ll think. But I still choose my peace and speak up — even if my voice shakes.

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What I thought: I’d be productive every single day.

What really happened: I learned the difference between procrastinating (avoiding a task because it overwhelmed me in some way) and genuinely needing rest. And when rest is what I need, I try not to feel guilty about taking it.

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What I thought: I’d never criticize myself again.

What really happened: I still catch myself being harsh. But now I pause, shift my inner dialogue, and choose compassion over self-blame.

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If there’s one thing I’ve truly learned, it’s this: growth isn’t always loud. It doesn’t always come with visible results or applause. Sometimes it’s just choosing to respond differently. Saying “no” when you used to say “yes.” Letting yourself rest. Picking yourself up and trying again.

Progress isn’t always about building shiny new habits — sometimes it’s about quietly breaking the old ones.

It’s not always pretty. But it’s real. And every time, it feels a little lighter.

“Progress doesn’t always feel like a breakthrough. Sometimes it feels like quietly doing better than you did before — and that’s enough.”

If your growth doesn’t look how you imagined — maybe that’s not a bad thing. Maybe that means it’s finally real. Yours. Honest. Flexible.

Let’s stop measuring our self-worth with checklists and Pinterest boards. Let’s normalize the messy middle — the pivots, the pauses, and the days we simply showed up.

What does your version of progress look like these days? I’d love to hear it.

Until next time,

Senuri